Will you be alone for the holidays this year? Unfortunately, many of us may have to experience the season without familiar loved ones sometime in our life. If you have magical memories of festive celebrating, you may feel anguished at the thought of spending the time alone. Here are three ways to help ease the blues.
Be prepared
Be realistic with your emotions and realize there may be ups and downs. You may convince yourself that you can handle it, but you can expect that any familiar sights, sounds or aromas can trigger wistful thinking. Take an inventory of your most vibrant memories. Close your eyes and envision the event. Where was the setting? Why was it special? What senses to you recall? Write down on paper that you can refer back to a list of these memories. Pick a specific item from each of the memories that made it so special and plan to have it one hand. For example, if the smell of gingerbread cookies filled the air on Christmas Eve, have gingerbread dough on hand ready to bake. If you watched a special Christmas movie, plan to have it on hand...
Be prepared to reminisce and bask in the memory, but tell yourself it must be in a positive and joyful way. If you assess that you will only feel more melancholy due to the memory, then formulate a remedy that will replace the memory. Comic relief is good therapy or your favorite pampering technique, such as a soothing bubble bath or exercise. As a last resort, if you know yourself well enough that you are the blubbering sort, allow a timeframe to release your emotions. Tell yourself that it will be ok to let it all out in private, but you must limit yourself. Sob if you must, but when the time is up, you must stop and do something positive instead.
Plan a new event
Reminiscing has its place during the holidays, but since being alone is a new concept why not make it something new to look forward to. Your being alone may be the result of many different reasons. Find something positive in that reason and celebrate it. If it is because you have moved far away, invite new friends for a gathering. If it is because of a loss due to unfortunate circumstances, rekindle old friendships. If you're in a situation where you are isolated or need healing before you can face new relationships, enjoy the simple pleasures of being alone. Find new ways to enjoy life by yourself. You can choose a new hobby, learn a new skill, or join clubs or committees where you can participate in a cause and still keep your distance emotionally.
Volunteer
There is nothing more rewarding than giving this time of year. It is a surefire way to stop a pity party. Make it a new tradition. Numerous charitable agencies have programs set up with donations needed. Choose from the vast variety of existing needs, or become your own Secret Santa. Another example is to simply perform a "pay it forward" gesture, which means to participate in a good deed for someone in need and ask that they merely pay it forward in some other way to someone else in need. Making the season bright for those less fortunate than you will bring you certain joy
Sheryl A. Matthews writes about family life, health, and relationships. She has a degree in Business Education and has experience in a wide range of career fields including military and government personnel, health and childcare. At present, she is owner of Sanneco, a home-based business featuring products for better living. You can visit her website at http://www.Netwonderland.com or comment on her blog at http://www.blogster.com/familyties
Sheryl A. Matthews is not the owner of, nor is in any way affiliated with this website
